Hi all,
I just don't know where else to post but have been sitting with these feelings all day, well since last night really.
Last had full contact with my kids 13/07/2020.
Does anyone else feel like your grieving? Grieving the dead but you have no grave to visit?
I'm 45 days sober today and to not be able to go and numb this raw pain and emotion is literally killing me!!
Drinking only became a problem once he took my kids.
My ex husband is a serving MET police officer and I've finally got them to listen, so he is currently being investigated and on restricted duties but too late for family court who believed every word he said, even though I can prove he lied!!
People tell me it will get easier with time and just get on with your life, your kids will come back to you when they realise what he's like!!!
I want to punch people in the face when they tell me and say does that hurt coz that's not a patch on the pain I'm feeling right now and mine doesn't disappear.
But 3 years now its 3 years too long and to have to do another Xmas without them is too much.
He remarried 6 months ago after we were separated for 4 years and gets her to send me the "messages" now!
Introduces her as the Stepmum when I've never had a conversation with this woman, she posts photos of my kids all over social media and it's the only time I get to see how they've changed.
I wish he'd have physically abused me in our marriage not misogynisticaly and coerceively controlled me, not the mental abuse and the PA he puts me through now.
Bruises I can cope with.
I don't think I can do another year of this purgatory, of just existing, not living.
How does anyone else get through this.......
Hey x I hope you've made it through xmas. Noone can understand the living grief without closure, if they've not experienced it, nor the trauma and CPTSD inflicted by anti family courts. Do please get some bereavement counselling 🙏