My abusive ex is using my kids to hurt me. And it’s breaking my youngest daughter heart.She’s lost control of me.so my ex is using the kids.

Sorry to hear of your distress. In a relationship breakdown emotions are hard to control. It is a long process. Wherever possible you have to be the bigger person, the kindest, the forgiver - even when it's hard. Gentle honesty and kindness can help to dismantle hostilities but it will take time. Be as kind to your ex as possible, without giving them false hope of reconciliation. The legal alternatives can be painfully expensive but necessary if best efforts at sensible communication breaks down.