Hi everyone, so long story short, my ex has positioned herself as Primary Carer (against my wishes) and basically dictates the childcare schedule. It's been every other weekend and every other Monday evening into Tuesday morning for me for a couple of years. During that time I have paid half of everything when required (i.e. nursery fees, dentist charges, and now after school club fees etc...) as well as, obviously paying for everything when our daughter is with me, buying her new clothes, a bed, school uniform, hair products, days out etc etc etc..
A couple of months ago my ex told me I need to start paying maintenance and claimed she's let me off so far because I was going 50/50 on nursery fees.
I reluctantly agreed and offered what I could afford within my means. Bear in mind she earns way more than me, goes away at least once a month for between five days to a week (during which time I have our daughter), she inhereted her mum's house when she died at the end of 2022 and shares the place with her sister, so has way less outgoings than me and a much higher income.
I recently said I want more time with our daughter - an extra weekday evening into the next morning and to extend my weekend from Sunday evening into Monday morning. She agreed to the extra evening but not to extending my weekend.
Now she's chasing for maintenance payments and I'm on the verge of stopping them and taking this to mediation. It's like she'd rather have me paying money than our daughter spend more time with me and I cannot allow this to happen. It's just wrong.
At a loss as to how to respond.
Mate, it’s horrible. Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s all too common and it’s destroying a lot of men… As you say, it needs for everyone to get together and make a real stand because too many men are being under pressure while also being denied equal time with their children for no other reason than spite. It’s disgusting and needs to change.