I have been fighting for nearly 2 years passed a mental health check as she said I wasn't well then was accused of taking drugs passed this also. The judge then says the woman lied in court you can guess nothing happened to her. The judge then decides that it will go straight to day time contact makes me wait 4 weeks then decides it's going to the contact centre. I done nine weeks there it's now moved out of the contact centre and I am getting the kids every Saturday which simply isn't good enough. He also stated that my youngest was too old to stay over night even though he stays with his grandparents every Friday he is coming 3 years old. My daughter he said she can stay but not the youngest which to me is nuts he is breaking up the children I am now at the point of appeal. The mother has now requested that none of my family can see them on my time and I am due back to court next week after the judge saying he doesn't want to see us for a year for me to get more contact he wouldn't even address holiday contact.
This is the basically my case could someone please help?
I have two suggestions for you. The first, is to sign up to PAPA (People Against Parental Alienation) Worldwide Support group on Facebook. I feel there is better Support there. There are Chatrooms and you can post your issues to receive a better feed back than you would from a website.
My Second suggestion is to to consider Mediation.
Mediation can be a valuable tool, even when you've faced challenges in court. Here are some reasons why mediation might be worth considering:
Benefits of Mediation
1. **Less Adversarial:**
- Mediation is generally a more cooperative and less confrontational process than court proceedings. It can help reduce tension and promote better communication between you and the other parent.
2. **Child-Focused:**
- Mediators often emphasize the best interests of the children, helping both parents focus on what is best for their kids rather than on their personal disputes.
3. **Flexible Solutions:**
- Mediation allows for more creative and flexible arrangements that a court might not be able to order. This can lead to a more customized and mutually satisfactory parenting plan.
4. **Control Over Outcomes:**
- Both parties have more control over the final agreement in mediation, as opposed to having a judge make decisions for them.
5. **Cost and Time Efficient:**
- Mediation can be quicker and less expensive than ongoing court battles.
When Mediation Might Be Pointless
1. **Non-Cooperative Parties:**
- If the other parent is completely unwilling to cooperate or compromise, mediation might not be productive.
2. **Safety Concerns:**
- If there are concerns about abuse or domestic violence, mediation might not be appropriate.
3. **Severe Mistrust:**
- If there is an extreme lack of trust, it can be challenging to reach an agreement through mediation.
How to Approach Mediation
1. **Consult Your Lawyer:**
- Discuss the possibility of mediation with your attorney. They can provide guidance on whether it might be beneficial in your situation.
2. **Choose a Qualified Mediator:**
- Select a mediator who is experienced in family law and understands the dynamics of child custody disputes.
3. **Be Prepared:**
- Come to mediation with a clear understanding of your goals and priorities. Be ready to discuss various options and compromises.
4. **Stay Child-Focused:**
- Keep the best interests of your children at the forefront of the discussions. Be open to solutions that prioritize their well-being.
5. **Communicate Openly:**
- Practice effective communication and listen to the other parent's perspective. This can help build a more cooperative atmosphere.
Steps to Initiate Mediation
1. **Propose Mediation:**
- Suggest mediation to the other parent, either directly or through your attorney. Emphasize the potential benefits for both of you and the children.
2. **Select a Mediator:**
- Agree on a mediator and schedule the first session.
3. **Attend Mediation Sessions:**
- Participate actively and in good faith. Be open to negotiation and compromise.
Post-Mediation
- **Review the Agreement:**
- Once an agreement is reached, have it reviewed by your attorney to ensure it is fair and in the best interests of your children.
- **Formalize the Agreement:**
- Submit the agreement to the court for approval. This makes it a legally binding order.
Conclusion
Mediation is not pointless and can be an effective way to resolve disputes, even when court proceedings have been challenging. It offers a more collaborative and less adversarial approach, which can lead to better outcomes for both parents and children. It's worth exploring, especially if you're committed to finding a solution that works best for your family.
I Hope these suggestions might help you