The Role of Enablers in Parental Alienation.

Often friends and family members can be complicit in the abuse of parental alienation by enabling or encouraging alienating behaviours.

Parental alienation occurs when one parent, through subtle or overt actions, manipulates their child into rejecting the other parent unjustly.

However, what often remains unexplored is the role of enablers - family members and friends who, knowingly or unknowingly, perpetuate and encourage alienating behaviours, thus exacerbating the emotional harm inflicted.

Recognising Enabling Behaviours

Enabling behaviours in the context of parental alienation can manifest in various forms, each playing a crucial role in sustaining the toxic cycle of manipulation and estrangement.

These enablers may provide a platform for the alienating parent to denigrate the targeted parent, interfere with visitation schedules, or even collude in spreading false narratives that tarnish the targeted parent’s image.

By aligning themselves with the alienating party, enablers inadvertently contribute to the emotional abuse of both the targeted parent and the child caught in the crossfire.

Enablers, often driven by misguided loyalty or fear of confrontation, enable the alienating behaviours by turning a blind eye to the evident signs of manipulation or actively participating in isolating the targeted parent from the child.

By reinforcing the alienator's narrative and providing unwavering support, enablers contribute to the erosion of the child’s relationship with the targeted parent, perpetuating long-term emotional trauma and fractured family dynamics.

The consequences of enabling parental alienation extend beyond the immediate parties involved, affecting the child’s psychological well-being and distorting their perception of familial relationships.

A real life example would be if the target parent is due to collect their child and upon arrival they are ambushed by the alienating parents friends of family and are told the child is either not there or the target parent is told they're not "allowed" to collect their child.

Family and friends may have been told stories and lies in order to side with the alienator however it's important for these family and friends to look at the target parents relationship with the child and understand it is important for the child to spend time with both parents in nearly all cases.

We also have examples where the alienating parent is withdrawing their child early from school on days the target parent is due to collect (despite there being a court order in place) in order to estrange the child and target parent.

The school in this instance is enabling the alienating abuse by not respecting and adhering to the court order and also allowing the alienating parent to break school policy in order to inflict their abuse on the target parent and child.

The role of enablers in parental alienation cannot be underestimated, as their actions significantly impact the dynamics of manipulation, estrangement, and emotional abuse within families.

By understanding the enabling behaviours that perpetuate parental alienation, we can foster a culture of accountability, empathy, and collaboration in co-parenting relationships.

Encouragement Vs Discouragement

Friends and family members who notice parental alienation taking place have the option to either encourage the alienating behaviours or discourage the alienating behaviours.

Choosing to turn a blind eye to the abuse is another way of encouraging the behaviours to continue.

When individuals ignore or dismiss signs of abuse, they inadvertently give perpetrators the message that their actions are acceptable and will not be challenged.

This can perpetuate a cycle of harm and enable abusers to continue their destructive behaviour unchecked.

It's important that friends and family are aware of the damage parental alienation can and does cause to the targeted parent but also, particularly the child.

Parental alienation is a form of emotional abuse that can have long-lasting effects on both the parent being alienated from their child and the child themselves.

It can lead to feelings of isolation, rejection, and deep emotional pain for the targeted parent, while the child may experience confusion, guilt, and a fractured sense of identity.

Recognising the signs of parental alienation and taking proactive steps to address it can make a significant difference in protecting the well-being of both the parent and the child involved.

Empowering Change

It is imperative to raise awareness about the destructive impact of enabling behaviours in parental alienation and empower individuals to break free from complicity.

Family members, friends and even schools must educate themselves about the intricacies of parental alienation, recognise the red flags of alienating behaviours and refrain from becoming unwitting accomplices in perpetuating emotional abuse.

By fostering an environment of open communication, empathy, and support for both parents, enablers can play a pivotal role in promoting healthy co-parenting relationships and safeguarding the child's emotional welfare.

We also need to continue to campaign and push for harsher punishments and bigger deterrents for alienating parents.

Through education, advocacy, and a collective commitment to safeguarding children’s rights, we can strive towards creating a society where the well-being of the child is paramount, and parental alienation finds no fertile ground to thrive.

With a concerted effort to address enabling behaviours and promote healthier family dynamics, we can pave the way for a future where children are shielded from the devastating effects of parental alienation, and families are empowered to nurture positive and nurturing relationships.

In need of help or support?

If you are an alienated parent reading this article and feel you are in need of help and support then please make sure to join PAPA today by signing up here on our website, completely free.

This will give you access to our community support forum as well as our upcoming Resource Centre, which will include free downloadable guides to help through the process of being alienated and regaining contact with your grandchildren.

We also have a free to use Facebook support group that you can join here.

Our Facebook support group has several dedicated chat rooms where you can get immediate support.

If you are a member of PAPA you can also send us a message here on the website and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible but please bear in mind, we have hundreds of messages weekly so it may take us a while to get back to you.

Regardless of circumstance you are not alone and at PAPA we are here to support you.

Thank you for reading and for your continued support of PAPA and our mission to end parental alienation.