Parental Alienation is real and it's destroying lives.

How many more lives need to be destroyed and permanently altered before as a society, we unite and say enough is enough.

I know it may seem like saying 'parental alienation is real' is just stating the obvious (and it is) but this week I was made aware that for some it is not so obvious.

For some, it's still too easy to ignore the countless research and studies along with the millions of parents and children affected worldwide.

This week I was told by a "follower" (or former follower as they told me they would unfollow and then proceeded to block me) that Parental Alienation has been debunked and that the term is in fact "mother child sabotage".

She also told me that parental alienation is a term only used by abusive men and that fathers rights have now empowered abusive men to in turn alienate or "sabotage" mothers.

Now, of course what she said is absolutely ridiculous but the term "mother child sabotage" is something that occurs alongside "father child sabotage" because parental alienation is essentially parent child sabotage.

I don't deny the (slow) recognition of fathers and their importance in their children's lives being a contributing factor in more women becoming alienated. It's also plausible that some abusive men have been able to alienate their child's mother as a result.

However denying a father and child's relationship can be sabotaged and that only a mother can be alienated only further hurts mothers in the long run. Worse still, it only serves to hurt the children involved.

The reason for this is because the data is out there, there are countless studies, countless news stories and of course family court data that shows "father child sabotage" happens far more frequently than "mother child sabotage".

So even though "mother child sabotage" is increasing over time, the denial of "father child sabotage" or parental alienation in general creates a scenario where women and alienated mothers are looked at with less empathy.

This is of course not okay because anyone who suffers the pain and trauma of parental alienation deserves empathy.

Radical ideologies that suggest only one or the other can be affected when it’s clear BOTH can be, only serve to be divisive in a cause we all need to be united in fighting.

PAPA has always supported both fathers and mothers going through parental alienation because we are not ignorant to reality and believe that no parent or child should suffer parental alienation.

Of course it could have just been one crazy "follower" spouting nonsense but unfortunately it isn't just the one.

After this exchange I was made aware of a group called SHERA who describe themselves as a radical feminist group, who are basically spreading the above misinformation in order to counter parental alienation and to try prevent fathers from being involved in their children's lives, this is based on the it claims that it’s actually fathers using it as a method to deflect from domestic abuse.

Now, I know a lot of you reading may have heard of them long before me, as it seems they have been going for a few years.

The reason I've not been aware of them until recently is because they have blocked both my personal social media profiles as well as all PAPA profiles too.

Bearing in mind I have never interacted with them in my life, it shows that they are a group not interested in debate, intelligent discourse or even freedom of speech.

It's quite clear they are a group looking to control a narrative of "men are bad, women are good".

If what SHERA suggest was true and taken seriously then I may never have seen my son again, instead I have an amazing relationship with my son.

We can't let toxic groups like them to get in the way of more parents having what me and my son have with their children.

I don't care to involve myself with that but when it comes to parental alienation, it is quite clear from millions of cases (and even thousands of cases I've seen) that both men and women can be bad and ultimately it's the children who suffer.

Radical feminist groups like SHERA are dangerous and only serve to create more division between men and women, fathers and mothers which takes us further away from our goal to end parental alienation.

If you are against abuse, if you are against "parent child sabotage" then you are against parental alienation.

We should all be unified in ending this abuse regardless of who is the perpetrator and who is the victim.

All this needless debate over fathers and mothers only detracts from the biggest victim of all; the children.

The children involved in parental alienation cases bear the brunt of abusive mothers and fathers and can be severely damaged emotionally and mentally.

Any time someone denies parental alienation, they deny a child the chance at a loving relationship with their targeted parent. This will never be okay.

Parental alienation is real, it's destroying lives and we need to all continue to spread awareness so that less and less parents and children have to suffer.

In need of help and support?

If you are in need of help and support or have a question that needs answering then please login to our online forum here.

One of our admin team or one of our helpful members will be able to help and support. It's completely free to join PAPA and all members will have free access to our upcoming resource centre.

You can also join our Facebook support group.

Both here on the PAPA website and our Facebook support group have dedicated spaces for mothers and fathers as well as dedicated spaces for different countries.

Join PAPA today and help us put an end to parental alienation.